Once it was Christmas Day, everything was good, but, ah, I gotta say, it was rough getting to it.
A bunch of big stuff was coming down in December, mostly related to Gary’s job so honestly, it was hard to get in the festive spirit, to feel it was ok to buy gifts, to make any plans. But we did try to get into it, taking little steps like going to the kids’ Christmas concerts and getting a tree put up.
Don’t even ask about the outside lights.
(…as she tells you all about it… in detail)
It’s actually a kinda sad memory really, but I do kinda wish I had taken a picture because by this time I know I could laugh at it.
So, imagine Gary on the roof after work, bless his heart, with about 15 minutes of daylight left. Trying to steady a cold metal ladder on the sloping surface of round landscaping rock, he starts stringing lights from one end of the roof, makes it to front door, and we work together trying to string along the big arch window but decide that’s just gonna be too hard to get that high so we just let them dangle in a sad, reverse sagging arch, and it’s become too dark and too slick for him to navigate the roof any more this night so the next string of big old-fashioned colored bulbs (meaning: very noticeable) are left coiled just lying there on the roof. And the four different strings of mesh lights Diane wrapped the huge front bush with decide to work about ten minutes and then mysteriously never work again. And as our luck would have it, the weather turned icy and cold the next morning and we never got out to tend to the lights again until they came down on New Year’s Day. So yeah, lights on just one end of the house, drooping across the front door and that’s it except for non-working lights covering the bush and the wadded up lights, unlit but very visible on the roof for at least two weeks. Somehow it seemed worse than leaving Christmas lights on your house until May. We had the lonely one-end-of-the-roof ones on for maybe half an hour that first night and then quickly turned them off once we realized they were so embarrassing. I’m not exaggerating any of this. Very pitiful representation by the new family on the block surrounded by the other neighbors that obviously take their decorations more seriously and have very nice light displays. Hey, next year we’ll get it together! Just watch.
But the kids’ concerts were great and they looked Christmas perfect.
Jack had his high school concert with multiple bands and choirs and a huge orchestra, but no pictures because: resistance to camera along with a mom that was just too tired out to push it. And we didn’t even take Sam to his scout Christmas program because: slacker parents just wanted to have a night at home for once.
So, anywho, our tree turned out really beautiful, but geez, it was a roller coaster ride that night getting it.
You know how you look forward to something but then when you are actually starting it, it doesn’t feel that great after all?
Getting into the roller coaster cart and starting the ride, at where else? the bottom—it was a cold day, already dark, and of the whole entire family, only Caroline showed interest in picking a tree out
Will this get fun soon? still sitting at the bottom—went to closest available which was pre-cuts at Home Depot and looked through all they had and we came up with nothing even worth considering, and did I mention, it’s cold and dark and no one much wants to be there
Notching up the track finally—went to next available which was Lowe’s and they had more to choose from
Loosing ground on the incline and starting to head backwards—but the price of a tree the size we wanted was $100
Holding in one spot—Gary thought the one we found and loved most was actually a lesser price even though it was big and I said “what if it’s not?!” and he said “just get it”
Me holding my breath—wheeled it up to cashier (so big we couldn’t easily carry it)
Reaching the top and feeling good—cashier scanned it and said “that will be $18.95” Diane said “What the??!! Yaaaaay!” It was a beautiful 10 foot Douglas fir. For under $20. And the others just like it were $100??!! Does not make sense, but yay! [Reader’s suspicion is probably already cued, however, mine was not at all.]
Still at the high point of the ride—throwing perfect giant tree into the back of our pick up truck because: easy! we have a pick up truck!
Still feeling good sitting at the peak, enjoying the entire view around us—all four kids home, getting it inside the house goes fine, located the stand right visible there in the garage and grabbed it likety-split which is amazing considering WE RECENTLY MOVED, and just feeling it is the perfect tree and was a bargain tree and how is that??! We are just fortunate people, apparently, getting a break finally
Headed down hill, slowly at first—having a little trouble getting it to fit in the one and only metal tree stand of our marriage that we’ve had since 1996
Continuing to let gravity have its way—Gary gets a little hacksaw blade out and begins to shave away at the trunk
Plummeting while gaining speed—cuss words possibly uttered as shaving it down is not helping it fit into the stand AT ALL
Dead free fall—attempt to put tree into stand again and again and its taking me and two boys to physically hold up this massive tree as Gary hammers the spikes back in place on the stand bottom for the second time and the tree sits momentarily to trick us and then we are yelling “timber!” and having to catch it, except not the timber part because that might imply there was humor and laughter at this point
Hitting the Earth and knowing ‘so this is what the end looks like’—we repeat the above and again the damn thing falls over, and it’s declared: no way no how this tree is working out. Turns out its trunk is the the most off-center thing possibly ever created in nature, kinda makes sense now--$18.95
Slight rise—Diane suggests going back into town and buying a new, bigger, heftier stand and Gary realizes that’s what’s gonna have to happen, so he concedes
Headed definitely upward again toward the sky—make the short jaunt to Lowe’s again and find the ‘up to 10 foot tall’ tree stand and it’s just $20 which was a pleasant surprise considering I had not priced tree stands in like 18 years and was thinking more in the ball park of $50. Hey, plastics from China! Sometimes you rock.
We-can-do-it-attitude returns, climbing that seemingly insurmountable hill—back home within fifteen minutes and realizing it would have taken us that long just to drive down Goshen Rd from our old house, loving our new place’s conveniences even more and feeling thankful and very hopeful
At the top top top--lifting the tree once again and YESSS it fits into the new stand and the boys are helpful in getting the tree oriented to straight(er) and tightening up the metal thingies to hold it firmly in its new stand
JERK! JOLT! taken by total surprise, a sudden crashing fall—the whole blasted thing falls over when not held by a human
Fall is brief, back to we-can-do-this!—Gary the idea man figures he can attach the new stand to a big piece of plywood and that will give it a stable base
Hanging at neutral—Gary brings in a sheet of plywood from the garage
Return to downward fall—no way this plastic wonder of China will be easily attached to a piece of plywood and besides, a piece of plywood? Yuck for Christmas decor, for sure
And upward momentum picks us back up— we just tie the tree trunk with a piece of green cord to the wood stairway railing behind it and it stands. Kinda. But slides. We lift it one more time to put a rubber mat below the tree stand, and yay! Finally! What a ride.
Ta-daaaa:
It took a couple more days to actually get all the ornaments on and lights wrapped around it, but it was worth it and ended up looking like this /\. You know I love real trees!
But, it never drank a bit of water; probably because of the craziness of the night we got it, I forgot to fill the stand with water until closer to the next morning. It was nothing but painfully brittle razor needles by the time we took it outta here after New Years’. I was wearing gloves to get the ornaments and lights off of it. But, despite the tree stand/falling tree nightmare/razor needles, I will say it was so worth it. It looked good! And smelled great! The two most important factors.
We want Christmas to be memorable, right?
Kids in 15 years: “Remember our first Christmas in Equestrian and we had that huge tree and it kept falling over and mom and dad were losing it?” haha
I might have a picture of the lights....
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