Thinking of Days Past and The Present

July 13, 1996

It's easy for me to remember my Top 5 Days ever. This was one. I'll even go so far to say this is the number one. Because if it didn't happen first, I would not have had Top Day numbers 2-5.

Gary and I were extremely happy that day and have been most of the days since then actually. I have only a few Saddest Days Ever and that's not bad out of nearly 42 years. I realize how fortunate I am to be able to say that.

Our outdoor July wedding. We were both so proud to have our very best friends standing with us. We didn't need four, six, eight attendants each to have our wedding.

I vividly remember a panic-induced, teary 2 a.m. phone call from me in my townhouse in Centralia to Gary in his apartment in St. Charles, Missouri, just days after our engagement with me sobbing "but this Bride's magazine has this list of fifty things you have to to do one year/six-months in advance of your perfect wedding and we have less than three months--we can't get married!"

And Gary's calm reply was: "Diane, all we have to have to get married is each other, a license, a ring, a preacher, and two witnesses."

Witnesses, easy. The two best friends, Candi and Dale, covered that. We were lucky that we also had all our families and friends at our wedding, but it didn't have to be a big showy affair with an array of bridesmaids in bad dresses. Having our two best friends standing next to us that day was all we wanted.

But we did manage to add in some extra beyond the necessities, and one of those was having a flower girl. This cutie pie is Julia Maria Hayward, the daughter of my best friend forever,

Candice Paige Caraker Hayward.

Which brings me to my number one saddest day ever.

Dec. 2 , 1996
The day Candi died. My best friend. Gone forever.

It took me so long to actually hear it and then to believe it. A congenital heart condition that no one had any idea existed in her. A seemingly healthy woman suddenly dead at age 40.

And she left behind her own husband, Doug, imagine her soulmate like Gary is to me, and her three young children, Julia, Mason, and Susannah. Could anything in life be more sad?


But yesterday was a happy day. My kids got to meet Candi and Doug's kids out for a quick lunch at Applebee's as Julia, the little flower girl all grown up, was here considering SIU-E for college.

So, I got to chat with and hug Doug and his beautiful girls, and even though her name was mentioned only a couple of times, the whole time I was thinking of my BFF and what a fun, cool girl she was. The Xenia girl and the girl from Cobden. Maybe it was our po-dunk beginnings? Whatever, we just clicked together.

From the first day we met in college with her huge, bright shiny-penny permed hair to our wildly fun Current River camping trips to going to see each others' newborn babies to briefly working together as school psychologists in the same office, she made my world so much more special.

It was fun to see her two girls.

I could tell there's a fun-loving, goofy streak there, too.

Doug

Susannah, 13

Julia, 17

Mason, 15 years old, didn't get to come since he had to play goalie for his soccer team that day, and this was the best I could do for a picture of him. Thanks, Facebook.

He was actually at our wedding, also. And Susannah, too. Little fetus that she was under her mama's peach dress.

Candi, miss you and love you forever, girl.