Tetris

This week the boys went for their physicals and vaccines.  ‘Cept I didn’t realize there would be vaccines, so when they asked beforehand, I said “No, no shots today.”

So you can imagine the razor-broken-glass daggers shot my way by Grant when the nurse casually threw this into the conversation, “Ok, Grant you are here today for your check-up and tetanus booster.”

He was wise to this tetanus thing.  Gary had spent at least 38 hours going on and on earlier this summer after he had to get his booster, saying how bad his arm was hurting and how it was the worst shot he’d had and, yes, he’d had some doozies in the military with big honking needles you couldn’t even believe existed, and yes, this tetanus one was even worse.   Or at least that’s the way Grant remembered it. 

So, suffice it to say Grant didn’t take it well knowing he was going to be getting one of these worst-pain-on-Earth shots.  Without going into too much detail, I will say that I am fairly confident it is a day that goes down in that nurse’s history as the day “that kid totally freaked out.”

She, an experienced nurse, wisely decided it would be better just to get it over with rather than have him in that hysterical state as the doctor tried to do the physical, so she left the room to get the shot.  And Grant and I had this tense conversation:

Grant, I know I told you you wouldn’t have a shot today, but I didn’t realize about this booster.

But you said!!

Yes, I am sorry I wasn’t aware. But you know, as bad as you think getting this little shot will be, it is no way as bad as being in the hospital for weeks or months with lockjaw.  Do you know what that is?!  (followed by very embellished description of a slow and agonizing death—it was supposed to make the shot seem like nothing.)

Well, Dad said the tetanus shot was the worst shot he ever got and it’s gonna hurt so bad!!  I am NOT going to get it!! 

I AM NOT GOING TO GET IT!! 

Grant, I don’t know if you know this, but sometimes Dad makes a bigger deal out of things than they really are. 

He said…!!!

Yes, I know “he said” but really, your dad over reacts A LOT and makes a big deal out of things when it’s really not anything.

(Grant yelling at the top of his lungs, punctuating each and every syllable)

THEN WHY DID YOU

EVEN MARRY HIM?!!

I burst out laughing. 

Ohmygosh, I couldn’t not laugh.  And that really didn’t help the situation.  At all.  Nope, not one bit.

Long story shorter, he got the shot.  It wasn’t pretty.  It was very memorable for all parties involved but hey, he got it. 

Let me tell you:  Parenting is not for wimps. 

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The irony of this whole scenario was that just weeks earlier, Grant had teased Caroline that she was going to get a shot.  In reality, I just had to swing by the pediatrician’s office to pick up a form that was required for Jack to go to Boy Scout Camp (No, Ross, I am not going to let you forget it.  Evil Boy Scout Camp. There, said it again!)

As we pulled into the parking lot, Grant was really letting her have it, telling Caroline that she had to go in to get the worst shot ever, the one with the most pain on Earth, the one like Dad had just had,

a Tetris shot. 

Ok, that cracked me up, too, and I laughed out loud at him.  Who wouldn’t?

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Really, it brought to mind the Talia and Johnny story.  I hope I tell it right, but since I am almost 100% sure I will butcher it in some way, here’s the basic jist of it:

Johnny had been or maybe was going to the dentist and said something about the nicotine (meaning Novocain) and Talia jumped right on it to correct him,

“Gah, it’s Nicotrol, you dope!”

Tetris/Tetanus-- whatever.